Talks - Ending the Inner Critic

What’s the Inner Critic?

A sub-personality
- A manifestation of one’s Self view
- A filter that colors our everyday life
Continuously judging and blaming us
- Has a sense of harshness
It may have its origin in childhood
- But we are construing it in our mind everyday
Its power is in its vagueness
- The more we focus our attention on it, the more it loses power

Creates a sense of inadequacy, not being enough, fear
It suppresses deep seated needs of human beings:
- Capacity for self-expression and Creativity
- Capacity for intimacy and revealing oneself
Sometimes it affects even our relationships
- We project it onto others and feel judged
The inner critic is prevalent in our society
- Individualism and consumerism all contribute to its formation
- Even if we are not very materialistic, the air we breathe favors the inner critic

”Should” comes into practice
- Creates pressure
- Removes intrinsic motivation
- Takes the joy out of practice, it doesn’t feel like a gift
In reaction to the Inner Critic, we create the Inner Rebel
- Pressures us to not practice anymore
- Inner Rebel is a manifestation of a healthy life force
IC stifles questioning in practice and ability to play
- It criticizes us when we get distracted, instead of allowing us to inquire
- We need to accept distraction to inquire, but IC won’t let us
- The only question IC allows us to ask is “Am I doing it right?”
  - Can we instead ask “How am I?”
  - Introduce kindness in practice

The IC is just a mental habit of negative thinking
Practicing Metta we create new habits of thinking
- Sow the seeds of kindness towards ourselves and all beings
When IC is very strong, the Metta phrases may seem ridiculous, fake
- Over time this has tremendous effects
May be tempted to keep the Metta towards ourselves only
- Directing Metta to all beings, we can’t help but be soaked into it
- We do need love from others as well
  - Dharma culture focuses on everything coming from inside us
    - True on some levels, but love from others can also be extremely healing

Can we let the IC be there?
- Give it kindness and give it space
Instinctive reaction may be Aversion, wanting to get rid of it
- The IC is a force of aversion, getting rid of aversion with aversion is like pouring gasoline on fire
Each criticism ends up creating some pain in the body
- Can we be with it with kindness, warmth, care?

The IC is a mix of feelings, thoughts, textures
We re-create and strengthen the IC in our minds everyday
- Can we deconstruct them to each individual sensation and stay with each separately?
  - e.g. listen to the tone of the voice, feel the sensations in the heart
- If we don’t “join the dots” we don’t give the IC the capacity to create vicious cycles

Am I believing the Inner Critic?
- Do I believe I am a bad person and I need to feel shame?
- Do I believe I am a phony, and it’s only a matter of time before others find out?
Can I allow Great Doubt to come in?
Is this IC pattern giving me anything?
- A feeling of familiarity perhaps?
- Is it trying to protect me from something?
Can we try conversating with the IC?
- Understand its fears, its instinctive behaviors, and perhaps we can re-assure him

Is meditation disconnecting us from our power?
The Inner Rebel, rebelling against the IC, is one manifestation of our power
- Power to say no, that’s enough
How can we connect with our inner power?
- Metta can feel powerful
- Connecting with the feelings of energy in the body
- Connecting with the Inner Rebel, and its images
- Using the intellect, to question and outsmart the IC

Not an ego trick
Culture pressures us to assess our success by worldy achievements
- What would it be like to measure ourselves by how ethically we live?
- Kindness, generosity etc… Qualities that our heart longs for

If we are living in accordance to what we truly desire, there will be less room for the comparing and judging mind to step in and bother us

We are quick to blame and criticize our Self when we make a mistake or act unskillfully
We can learn to realize that all our actions are based on causes and conditions
- Maybe you were stressed, tired etc…
WHere is the Self?