https://dharmaseed.org/retreats/1466/
Talk 1
Is it helpful to see practice as sacred?
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On one end yes, set it as a holy part of the day
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On the other, trying to make it special can make it counterproductive, creating expectations etc…
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To long is to experience the pain of longing, but it is also to experience the beauty of longing.
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If my aspirations are bigger, little stresses in life will seem smaller, but pain from wanting to fulfill the aspiration will be there as well Talks - Beauty of Desire - Rob Burbea
Expectations of meditation
- we imagine in meditation there should be no thoughts
- we suffer a lot from this and other images we have of meditation
- WE WILL THINK AND THAT’S OK, IT MIGHT EVEN BE GOOD
Point of Practice
- Developing different ways of looking
- Getting ready to work with emotions as they arise in real life
Talk 2 (practice starts at minute 22:30 - 40)
What do we want from working with our emotions?
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Maybe I want the fullness of my being (an open heart)
- Open to joy, touched by beauty
- Open to pain and work with difficult emotions
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Not in the business of only feeling positive emotions, or don’t feel emotions at all
- Do we really want to be free of desire?
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Developing confidence in our emotional life
- often there’s fear of our emotionality
- we’re in the habit of distracting ourselves from emotions
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Not just about being aware
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not just about being with whatever feeling
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Also about **being able to work skillfully, experiment, explore, look at the context (what are the assumptions?) **
- Brings understanding of our emotional life
Emotions and Mindstates
- Mindstates are subtler
- Boredom, energized, contracted etc.. are mindstates
- Emotions are a subset of mindstates
- If we’re not aware of Mindstates we become more reactive
Practice
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Paying attention to mindstates by focusing on the body
- There might also be certain thoughts with each mindstate
- Texture of the mind (spacious, energized, depressed)
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Golden question
- Is my mindfulness of emotions helpful or not helpful?
- sometimes we have reactions to emotions that make things worse
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Energy of emotions Vs energy of attention
- If emotional energy is higher, we’re overwhelmed by the emotion
- if attention energy is higher we’re calmer, we can heal
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Line in the upper body where most emotions show up (from below the belly to the head)
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Reducing emotions to body sensations is a bit simplistic
- There’s often meaning and complex parts of emotions
- still helpful to start with the body
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Being aware of unconscious expectations
- Expecting very clear and steady experience that matches the instructions
- In reality it is often blurry and goes in waves (of being clear, being present being caught up in thought)
- recognize that waves are impermanent
- watch them come and go like a kid in the water
- realize you don’t drown and learn to trust these waves
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Can we let go of the demands and expectations?
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Emotions sometimes feel like they take us over
- They become the lens through which we see the world
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In this practice, we make emotions the object of attention
- Awareness is bigger than emotions
- we don’t get so overwhelmed
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When labeling emotions sometimes we fabricate them
- We label a feeling in the chest as fear and it becomes fear
- Other times labeling can be useful
- Not good, not bad, it’s a tool
Mind
- What is the mind doing during practice?
- Is it constantly judging the experience as good or bad?
- I should be feeling this or that
- Again I’m feeling this way
- I shouldn’t be distracted
- Good to feel distracted as it mimics our everyday life and helps us prepare for it
- Make conclusion about my whole life and personality
- Instead of seeing them as a problem, it’s good to see them and come up
- These judgments come up and affect us in daily life
- **Good for them to come in during practice **
- Better if we caninsert a little feeling of (great) doubt (The 5 Heroic Motivations
- We can be aware of what the mind is doing
- Or we can consciously introduce skillful thoughts
- The view of the mind affects our physical experience
- We can think, “What I’m experiencing right now is exactly what I need to, what I should be experiencing”
Practicing Short Bursts of Intense Attention
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Very difficult to maintain mindfulness over a long time
- It’s almost a way of consciousness to bring in the past and the future
- We can sometimes practice short bursts of energized presence
- Chop off past and future
- Pay attention to only this moment (25:00)
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The mind produces thoughts like trees produce leaves
- we can learn to accept that and be at home with the mind
- not judging thoughts as beautiful or ugly
Meditator as a revolutionary
- Developing the capacity and courage to feel the pain of our times
- hold and respond to the pain
- Practice reduces some kinds of suffering but opening the heart opens us to different kinds
- James Hillman - Psychotherapy as anesthesia
- fear is not the same as concern
- The latter has a sense of stability
- Part of practice is about taking risk
- Risk and insight reinforce each other
- Do I have fear of speaking out?
- Can I overcome that?
At home in the Universe
- The age of enlightenment became the age of convenience, the age of alienation and individualism
- consumerism is not just about greed, but now became a way to assert our identities
- individualism is so entrenched in today’s society it might not be possible to get rid of it. How can we work with it?
- we tend to associate our “self” with one personality
- how can we open up our individualism, our sense of self even more in a good way?
- fully expressing ourselves can be a way to feel at home in the Universe.
- Feeling at home with existence involves opening to and accepting death ☠
- Asking ourselves:
- Where am I seeking identity?
- How am I expressing identity?
Letting Go of Ways of Looking (Mystics Talk)
- It’s not that hard to have mystical experiences through meditation (e. G. Oneness etc)
- If we don’t cling too tight to them, we can allow them to unfold and evolve
- There’s always a way of looking
- We assume that being with “what is”, being mindful is being with reality
- We don’t realize that this is based on a scientific materialist view
- We assume that being with “what is”, being mindful is being with reality
- We might dismiss God and Soul
- Saying that those would also be impermanent
- Impermanence is eventually not ultimate reality
- Not permanent, not impermanent
- The problem is entrenchnent in a view
- The more we let go, the more love, or the more we get insight into Emptiness → the smaller our sense of self, the more we experience oneness and have othrt mystical experiences
- we cling less to perception
Working on Emotional Body (Day 6)
- Focus on allowing, welcoming, inviting experience
- Strong emphasis on allowing
- Soften up experience, releasing tension
- Open up to all experience
- Notice aversion creeping in
- Notice that anger, fear and pain are driven by aversion
- Notice it 1,000 times to really internalize
- Beware of aversion dressed as “fake” allowing
- I want to allow to let the experience fade
- Practice with aversion in life
- Take a walk under the rain
Am I free to Inquire Talk
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Some questions are asked, but not looking for crystallized answers
- Questions Like “Who Am I” are meant to help us find spaciousness and question assumptions
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Other questions in practice may accept answers
- Understanding suffering, where it comes from etc…
- What are my assumptions that lead me to suffering?
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Allowing ourselves to inquire and question brings energy in practice, which brings concentration
- **If practicing with Not-knowing, is that alive? Is it with curiosity or without curiosity? ** Not-knowing | Uncertainty
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We tend to think that we can “trust our feelings”
- But our feelings are also affected by our conditioning and our stories
Books: Brian Green, The Fabric of the Cosmos